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Journalists die in quest for Terry pun

Posted on 04. Feb, 2010 by Lurking Bitch in It's Satire, Stupid, Soccer Is Played With A Ball

John Terry’s exploits off the pitch have been well documented. While conservative papers remain torn between condemning the precarious holder of the English captaincy, a real ordeal is going on behind the scenes.
Whether a paper has backed or condemned Terry, one thing remains constant; the pun.
In an unprecedented effort to come up with the greatest [...]

“I’m not racist, but…”

Posted on 12. Jan, 2010 by Lurking Bitch in Blatter Blather, It's Satire, Stupid, Soccer Is Played With A Ball

Hull boss Phil Brown has launched a scathing attack on FIFA and has demanded all games in Foreign Land be abandoned until further notice.
His recent claims that, following the horrible shootings at the African Nations Cup in Angola, the World Cup is called into question, have sparked some controversy. Though the attacks occurred approximately a [...]

Sporting clichés are like women…

Posted on 27. Dec, 2009 by Lurking Bitch in Anger Management, Egg Chasing, Soccer Is Played With A Ball

There comes a time in every man’s life when he must say enough is enough. Sporting clichés penetrate my annoying gland worse than a whore working double shifts the week the navy come home. People who use them need to be made eat nothing but phlegm for a year.
When you consider the actual meaning [...]

Sights for sore eyes

Posted on 13. Dec, 2009 by Lurking Bitch in Egg Chasing, Soccer Is Played With A Ball

Some clubs go to great lengths to ensure their jerseys are “unique”, but we at Sports Bitch just think they’re pure mank. Here are the top three worst offenders…
3: Taking home bronze is the luminous glow in that dark charade that is Barcelona’s away kit (third kit). Some years back Carles Puyol grew tired of [...]

New FIFA rule to combat bad passing

Posted on 06. Dec, 2009 by Lurking Bitch in Blatter Blather

Having tested it at amateur level in Ireland, FIFA have decided to implement a new ‘lurking’ rule in all higher echelons of the game. If a player hopes to be passed the ball, he must shout lurking before being able to receive it.
UEFA president Michel Platini stated he hoped this would address all concerns of agitated fans. Lurking initially [...]