Daywalker Bitch
Conceived the idea for the blog over numerous fizzy drinks with Non-Sports Bitch, then did fuck all about it for six months before eventually removing finger from arse. Unfortunate combination of being ginger, Protestant and left-handed has enabled him to get his own parking space in town. Acts as the site’s irresponsible, alcoholic Daddy, and specialises in taking credit for everyone else’s work.
Design Bitch
Makes all the bitching look pretty and girly. Wolf in sheep’s clothing, indeed. Doesn’t know her Henry from her Hreidarsson, but in fairness, she has a rack that could end wars, so she’s welcome at Sports Bitch towers anyday. Has three states of being – happy, sleepy and guilty, fact fans – and believes her wonderful webity work is “like a really shit Pokemon”.
Lurking Bitch
Moving on from the world of irreverent rants about music, film, literature and games, Lurking Bitch joins the Sports Bitch squad to broaden his horizons. He now writes irreverent rants about sport too. As a fan of ball foot and other sports his pithy insight is as useful as a guitar in a Calvin Harris album. Chelsea biased until he dies. Enjoys Sunday league football and misanthropy, the two really do go hand in hand.
Langerford Bitch
A despicable Longford/Cork hybrid, giving the female perspective on all things sport – that’ll mostly be the hotness of rugby players, and the obvious inbreeding of GAA players, then. Also offers insights into the Longford female psyche – “that won’t take long, buy us a drink and a bag of chips and the knickers will be long off” – and keeps us informed on the latest games and crazes sweeping the Midlands.
Culchie Bitch
A former Arts student, who used the time spent in college to hone his bitching skills and carry out the search for an effective hangover remedy. This search is ongoing and becoming more of a concern with each passing week. He loves all culchie pursuits e.g. throwing stones down bendy roads, making and eating hang sangwiches and feeling strangely superior to townsfolk.
Non-Sports Bitch
Unless you count UFC (and we don’t, because it’s nothing but semi-pornographic man-grappling), this Bitch has approximately zero interest in sport. But he does love nerding it up on the Xbox, so we’ve made him the in-house sports games reviewer. Pro Evo is practically a mortal sin for this man, who lists James Nesbitt among his “kills”. Which makes him fine by us.
Ladies Bitch
Hails from the wonderful melting pot of culture that is the Waterford/Tipperary border, but after a heavy night in on the stout, he got distracted while eating a Blaa and got the bus to Cork. He now resides solely in the campus of UCC, spending his days “shpottin the women” and talking to anyone foolish enough to engage him. As a Liverpool and Waterford follower (you never have to follow them far), he has disappointment bred into him.
Prison Bitch
The love child of the late mythical sportswriting genius Sureshot and a Dutch prostitute. Apoplectically pissed since the early 80s, this cynical and hate-filled scribe looks forward to pissing off as many c**ts as possible. Hobbies include public nudity, shouting at the TV while on the jacks and defecating in the video returns box in XtraVision. Specialises in exciting new ‘underground’ sports such as Testicle Tennis, and so forth.
Overaggressive Bitch
A philosophy student with a Napoleon complex, this is one offensive lineman you might want to cross. Having not succeeded in any other form of journalism he turns his attention to sport, despite an uncanny lack of awareness of any competition this side of the pond. But seeing as this is not a prerequisite for writer status at Sports Bitch, go Bears!!
